World AIDS Day/Happy 60th Dad!

December 1 for the rest of my life will forever be a challenging day for me on many levels...

For those who know me well, this day not only marks the commemoration of a day particularly close to me- World AIDS Day, but as well the birth day of my beloved and departed father. Its always interesting to see how God works... I believe he put these two important events on the same day in my life, so that when I would eventually no longer celebrate both of them at the same time, I would at least have one to commemorate/distract me from the other. God sure works in mysterious ways.

Dad would have been 60 this year...
maybe if he had been here, I would be back in Canada planning a bash for me old man?! Maybe if he were here, we'd be in Africa together?! So many 'what ifs' fill the life of a child who has lost a parent at too young an age. They can torment you if you don't figure out how to manage them in fact.

I often find myself wondering what he's up to now... how does he spend his days now that we're all apart? What does he do when that Godforsaken, painful grief strikes in the still of the night? What does he look like now? Is he even more handsome and collected, now that he's turned 60? Does his laugh sound the same?
What I wouldn't do to just hear my Dad's voice again... telling me he's proud and supporting the career path I've chosen. Or to even crack his jokes at me! Anything... anything at all.

And perhaps one of the most challenging aspects to this month of December (apart from chaotic Christmas) is that just 9 days after my Dad's birthday, also marks the day he departed his life here on earth.
December 10, 2007 saw a neither here-nor-there, but instead a distracted Jody moving yet again (for the 3rd time) here in Ghana. Maybe that's the way Dad and God wanted it?

And World AIDS Day was a mix up this year as well!
My roommates and I had planned on going to a walk organized by the Ghana AIDS Commission. They said it would start at 6am, but we assumed that that was 'Ghanaian/African time' (meaning there is no real sense of time here... no sense of urgency in large part. When you state a time, it usually means 'thereabouts'- it's never too specific. But when you do meet an African who does keep time, and you do not-- heads roll!) so showed up at 9am only to find everyone gathered at the finish point of Independence Square, and to watch the buses transport the participants home! Disaster!

I was fortunate though that a close friend of mine here, Eric saved me a t-shirt (do I deserve it though?! lol). This year's theme was Leadership and here in Ghana they added to that: Addressing the Stigma and Discrimination surrounding HIV.

After an insurmountable feeling of guilt for not waking up earlier, I called the clinic I have been volunteering at, Odorna Clinic to see what they were doing for World AIDS Day. I was told to go to Busy Internet where they were doing HIV VCT (test counseling).
So I went with my roommates, but it was quite strange how they were doing the VCT...

there was no personal, 1-on-1 pre-test counseling (and this is likely the most important part of the HIV test because you learn of the risks your client has exposed themself to- and what brought them there for testing. It is also the opportunity for the client to make a conscious decision if they want to actually follow through with the test (it is not always an easy decision, so clients often need that pre-test counseling to make a sound decision). It is also the chance for the counselor to make an assessment of the client they are dealing with. So it struck me as very odd that 4 different strangers were brought into a group session (to save time maybe?) to answer what they knew about HIV/AIDS and if they had any questions. Needless to say, many opted to not take the test. I likely wouldn't either!

But I convinced my roommates to test, and myself as well (again). Oh, how I miss HIV work!

So that was the disorderly way I spent World AIDS Day 2007, in Ghana!

On December 5, I went to a series of human rights lectures put on by CHRAJ (Ghana's Commission on Human Rights and Administrative Justice) and again, all the media was there and I happened to be wearing the 'Ghana @ 50' shirt I had made here, and I have since heard from many people (even randoms on the street!) that they saw me on TV Africa! Wish I could see it!

So the beginning of December has sure proven to be eventful in ways I never anticipated! I'm also looking forward to spending my second Christmas in Africa, in just a few weeks time now!

* * * * * * *

But for now I just miss you, Dad. With my whole entire heart and being.
But everyone tells me you're in a far better place now and that you'd want me to move on...
but I stumble when I try to.
Just know I'm trying.

I keep reaching out for your hand to help guide me and keep me strong-- but can only take comfort in the faintness of your distant whispers and the vividness of my memories.

I hope you are enjoying your special day and having a real celebration 'up there' with those you haven't seen in so long. I am thinking of you today and every day in fact.
60 years! You taught me a lifetime worth of lessons in the last 4 years of your life... so much so, that if I can just achieve even a fraction of what you did, then Dad- I know I'll do just fine until we meet again.

Until then, I hold you in my heart at all times and send you loving birthday wishes from your daughter- who is still struggling 'down here' without your physical presence...
& who would give anything to see you again. I love you Dad and miss you.

Love Jody

November 2007 in Accra, Ghana

November was quite an eventful month for me as compared to my other months here in Ghana, I must say!

Not only do I have too many friends/family celebrating their birthdays (Abbie, Julie S., Wondyfraw, Francisca, Michelle, Heidi, Jacqui, Julie V., Stephen, Aunt Marg) this month which kept me busy at the Internet cafe!, but I also had a lot happening in my own daily life here! Keep in mind too that November is the month leading up to World AIDS Day and the most challenging month in my own personal life as well.

November 9, 2007 marks my most productive and fulfilling day here in Ghana thus far!
I was asked by a friend of mine from St. John Ambulance, Cleopatra to deliver a short, 10-minute speech on the importance of people going for voluntary HIV testing, otherwise known as 'VCT' (voluntary counseling and testing for HIV). No problem I thought- and how exciting!
HIV work! Yay! And ohhhhhhhhhhh, how I miss doing HIV prevention work... every day in fact. So I jumped at the opportunity, to say the least!
I was up til midnight on my roommate Beth's laptop- so when she came back from the bar upstreet and found me typing away at midnight with a funny look on her face, I knew it was time to head to bed because I had to deliver the speech in just a few hours!

I delivered my speech on the morning of the 9th then, to an audience of 350 or so St. John Ambulance volunteers amongst keynote speakers from the Ghana AIDS Commission, and Department of Health, etc. The media were there as well- clicking away!

At the end of my speech, I was approached by the 2 major newspapers here in Ghana and asked for copies of my speech because I moved the reporters!

On November 15, I learned that the event was published in the newspaper and they mentioned me and my main message! What an accomplishment! Through all my struggles in trying to navigate my true purpose here, I finally felt a glimmer of hope in finding my potential way...

To read the article online, go to: http://www.myjoyonline.com/health/200711/10469.asp

Another thing I partook in (and to add to my productivity while here!) with HelpAge Ghana was a program that my Director designed to give me and my co-worker, Francisca something to do- while also teaching income-generating projects. So from November 12-December 13 I taught the same tie 'n dye class I taught in South Africa (with Michelle), and my sister/co-worker, Francisca taught a craft with yarn, wood and nails. Our intention was to work with the elderly not just in getting to know them better- but to also show them there are different ways to generate income once you allow your creative juices to flow.
Needless to say, because of the harshness and the toxicity in the dye we were using my activity finished within 2 weeks(!), and was later replaced with an elderly woman teaching how to make doormats, which is much more affordable and applicable to the way the elderly live here in Ghana. Everything always unfolds exactly as it is meant to they say!

It was lovely though to be able to just spend 'time' witnessing how we as human beings function once we age... some of them like small, annoying children needing unending attention; others with the dignity of royalty and competence of a hero. What a gift to be part of such an experience!
Through all the long days, heat exhaustion, empty stomachs and headaches, I actually missed the whole program after it finished in December! Isn't that the way life goes...

Then on November 24, as a lead-up event to World AIDS Day, I went with my roommates to the home of the Canadian High Commissioner to Ghana to an evening promoting self-esteem and awareness amongst HIV+ women. The event was put on by SWAA: Society for Women Against AIDS in Africa, Ghana and they organized a fundraising gala night with a Miss Positive Leadership Contest and Fashion Show. 10 HIV+ infected Ghanaian women from a variety of ages and backgrounds strutted their beautiful selves down an African-made red carpet to tell intimate details of their infection and stories that were only intended to be heard by such an intimate & small audience. I can't imagine the difficulties the judges would have had to encounter, in narrowing it down to a 'winner' in such a competition.

I myself just felt honored to be present amongst such strong and courageous women. I was inspired and moved that evening to say the least. It was also that evening that I made the decision to do what I know how to do best and stick to it-- and that is to work within the HIV/AIDS field. I deeply miss doing such work and even began volunteering at an HIV Clinic here in Adabraka, Odorna Clinic (November 17) to fill my empty longing.

By night's end, we were handed red and white balloons to commemorate the upcoming World AIDS Day and were asked to remember all those we know who have succumbed to AIDS, are infected, or those who have been affected by the epidemic in some way as we let them go deep into the night sky. I was moved to tears as I watched the starry night sky illuminate with the colours of red and white. I remember watching the balloons trail off for awhile, as my thoughts did the same...

7 years is almost a lifetime working within the HIV/AIDS field I realized...
So many changes in that amount of time with research/treatments; so many differences in all the countries I have visited while working in the field (Canada, USA, South Africa, Zambia, Ghana); yet still so many similarities among all the people affected by this incurable and deadly virus; and the amount of friends I have had to say goodbye to at too early an age- as I pray for those continuing to suffer through the wrath of HIV.

All of this flashed before my mind and touched my heart at the same time as I peered into the new night sky with its splashes of red and white... and I felt tears welling in my tired, blue eyes.

As I always say and live by in my daily life, once you know-- you can no longer act as though you don't know.

Thank you November 2007 in Ghana- for all these beautiful and touching life experiences